How do we learn and unlearn assumptions and distortions about sexuality? Reflecting on her work as a therapist for sex addiction and sex abuse survivors, Rachel Rubenstein explores how tznius (modesty) can help... us develop healthy relationships with ourselves and each other. Rubenstein argues that tznius is not about covering one’s body, but about practicing tzimtzum, a self-contraction that can allow room for increased growth and connection; a way being that lets go of the shame we hold onto in order to make more room for our unique, inner selves.See lessSee more
The Rest is Commentary
It really felt like my Orthodox high school devoted a full 40 percent of each year to lessons on modesty. Modesty was demonstrated in one and only one way: through clothing. Skirts were modest, pants were not. Shirts with words on them were not modest (unless they were names of universities-that's somehow modest and promotional at the same time).
Reprinted with permission from The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage (Jonathan David). Modesty is the foundation of Jewish values and is one of the fundamental underpinnings of the Jewish family. It is popularly thought to apply primarily to women, but it is a desirable quality in men as well.
Rachel Rubenstein LCSW
Trauma and Sex Addiction Therapist
Rachel Rubenstein is a Chicago-based Sex Addiction and Trauma specialist. She holds an MA in Clinical Social Work from Wurzweiler School of Social Work in New York, and a diploma in Clinical Social Work. Rubenstein is certified as a Sex Addiction Therapist by Dr. Patrick Carnes's International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), and has done several trainings on addiction, codependence, sexuality, and gang violence. She is professionally affiliated with NASW, IITAP, and Nefesh International. Rubenstein has spent over twenty years in trauma and addiction work, including working at an intensive outpatient substance abuse program for adolescents in Brooklyn at The Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services. She is trained in the phase based trauma treatment of Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT), which she has seen as highly successful with adolescent trauma survivors. She implemented this model, as well as The Stair Model for adult trauma victims, into her private practice, where she has been working full time with adolescent and adult addicts and trauma survivors, as well as partners of addicts.